I'm Tired of Beating Myself

I cannot speak for all men, husbands, dads, or pastors, but I can share my own experience and heart.  Perhaps I have been too prone over the years to assign blame to myself when I saw failure in the lives of those I care about the most, but I fear this is not entirely unique to my own emotional construction.

In my years of family life and ministry I have experienced some of the greatest joys imaginable, but I have also endured some times that nearly overwhelmed my soul.  The difficult times are always those times that I am driven to serious self examination.  The blame is all mine when I have failed to walk with God and provide Godly leadership to my family and church.  The blame is a little harder for me to pass off when a church member turns against the ministry they once loved and supported, when a friend in ministry falls into some grievous sinful lifestyle, or a family member allows philosophy or substance to bring their life to the brink of destruction.  In these moments, I find myself wondering if I could have done more to be a better example or to provide necessary encouragement.

Cain's defense before God could be echoed by us all "....Am I my brother's keeper?" (Genesis 4:9).  As I continue to age the more I realize, in a sense, that we truly are our brother's keeper.  The church has the responsibility to encourage, exhort, and rebuke as we bear each other's burdens.  The issue at hand though should draw us to the right conclusions.

Yes, we can share in the victories and defeats of others, but we also have to realize that our own personal responsibility can only extend so far.  As a husband, I am to provide love, security, support, and compassion for my God-given wife.  As a dad, I am to provide unconditional love, an example, Godly instruction, and a consistent life of following Jesus.  As a pastor, I am to love and care for the folks that God has led me to serve, preach the Word faithfully under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, and provide an uncompromising example of standing for right.

There is a point though that I must stop afflicting myself over the failures of others.  When we have honestly did the best we could perceive and those we love fail, we must realize that they made a personal choice and they are accountable to God for their decisions.  The Bible is filled with examples of those that served God faithfully, and yet those closest to them failed to follow in their footsteps.

My desire at this stage in my life is to show my family, my friends, and the folks I have served in ministry just how deeply I love them.  I will pray for them, rejoice with them, weep with them, and at times weep for them.  Ultimately, each of us will stand before God and give an account for our life.  I am not sure exactly how God will conduct our judgment, but let's give our best to Jesus now and face that time with as clear a conscience as possible.

If we have failed someone, let's see the way to make it right.  If others have failed us, let's forgive them and pray for them.  If loved ones have fallen, let's pray without ceasing for their help and restoration.  Let's be like the father of the prodigal and await with anticipation the return home of our loved ones.

"So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God." (Romans 14:12)